I feel like I'm a burden on my mother?

My sister also suffered from depression and tried committing suicide twice we sent her to the hospital and then one day she came to me and her wrist was cut open with a patch of blood shaped of an oval. She always got straight A's and did everything she was told. My mom yelled at her because she liked black clothes but she wasn't goth she would just wear a black shirt and eyeliner. Well my sister went up to my mom and told her why she felt like killing herself my mom was pissed but they are good now. I wanted to cut myself because I feel like my sister is so better then me she's a site model. She's really athletic she knows what she wants to do when she grows up and she has so many options. I learned if I killed myself I would never get the chance to prove that I can be something with my life. Ur mom is going to learn that she made your life hell put her in a retirement home. I think your perfect and you shouldn't kill yourself because your mom. She had a choice to keep you so she loves you