Can you live a fullfilling life without love even if you need it more than most?

ok im 35 years old finally figured out that i am just the worst possible partner a girl could have. all of my relationships have failed miserably and this last one has finally got me to take an honest look at myself, and what i realized is that with all my past relationships i have made excuses as to why why they havent worked out instead of just being honest about it... i have nothing that women want period! the problem is that i have desperately wanted to be that perfect guy every time because i fall so hard in love. i am so insecure about not being perfect that when i fall in love i just fall deeper and deeper into an existence of anxiety about how every other guy is better than me and more suitable for my woman that i cant understand why she is with me. this time i got married and had a kid though so its something completely different. i cant just wallow in misery and be pathetic i have to make sure i will be able to provide for this kid for the next 18 years. my wife (soon to be ex) is so completely competent in every way and will have no problem moving on, as a matter of fact already has... god just writing this makes me feel pathetic but whatever if theres anywhere i can show how low i can get it should be on yahoo answers in complete anonynimity. anyway she started seeing this guy who is a big hollywood producer/actor and will be starring in a big film soon as well, and there is nothing i can do to stop it.. i mean what am i gonna do go OJ on them im too rational to spend the rest of my life in prison because of this mess. shes somewhat of a goldigger (stripper) and i knew this when i met her but bc im a ******* pathetic sentimental loser i blinded myself to this fact on purpose in my everlasting quest to destroy myself over and over again. this time i actually contemplated suicide im just so ******* depressed i cant pull myself together. anyway i dont know how many people are as pathetic as me out there but i just figure its not really worth trying to have that unconditional love in my life i have strived for all this time with every woman ive ever been with. so is it possible for a sentimental fool like me to realistically put up a wall for the rest of my life and just focus on making money?..never going on a second date, running at the first sign of feelings for ******* ever? after the suicidal **** i figured if its choice between killing myself or living a life with some sort of purpose why not at least go with that? i have been approaching love from the wrong angle every time and i dont think i will ever get it right, and whats more it destroys any strengths i have in other aspects of my life and they go to **** further perpetuating the reason that the girl shouldnt be with me. i know that when i start getting my **** together again women will start to be attaracted to me once again, because they just love that confidence that men exude when things are going well for them. but if i let another one in i will lose everything once again and no woman will be attracted to me anyways including the one that would be with me because when your a pathetic loser you completely repell women with your depressed lame attitude. so whats the deal? anyone ever felt this way and just shut themselves out of any possibility of being in a meaningful relationship out of fear of becoming this way? has life for you been a success since you made this decision?