How to manage the differences between mother and wife?

So, are we talking about your wife and mother here?? Seems to me you have mommy issues, if you wanted to marry your mother you should have said so. You chose to marry your wife because of who she is, not because you want her to become like your mother. She is your equal not your lowers, so man up and put people in there place, if you don't the wife will finally tire of the bs and find somebody that does respect her for who she is.